Saturday, July 5, 2014

The urge within

Once in awhile, I feel opposite of what I wanna feel and yet, feelings are so hard to fully take control of. We know that in life, with every decision we make comes a consequences or result. Be it good or bad, we have to accept it as its the result of the decision we made. We can only look back and think that we made the wrong decision, if we did, and consider what are the factors we left out or forget to consider at that point of time that didn't allow us to make the right decision.

People would always say "what's done, is done". This line that came from Shakespeare's Macbeth is so commonly used in the current world. In Macbeth, this line is used when Lady Macbeth tries to calm her husband down after the murdering of King Duncan as she tries to treat Macbeth's guilty hallucinations with the blandest possible palliative. To me, this is yet another line just to make people feel better of what they have done. A line to make them believe that they have actually done their best in that situation/circumstances. I always say this when I finish a exam paper or after an assignment submission. As yes, we have done our best and now all we can do is wait for the release of the results to see how well we did. Another way of saying this line would be "what's done cannot be undone" which happen to appear in Shakespeare's Macbeth too. Down to down, this 2 line carries a similar meaning, whatever that is done can no longer be changed.

We do not want to let whatever that has happened in the past affect our current life, but that does not mean we totally forget about it. We remember the lesson we learn and keep it in us. As said by Jordan Belfort  (Wall Street): "No matter what happened to you in your past, you are not your past, you are the resources and the capabilities you glean from it. And that is the basis for all change." One might have fell and been hurt badly but when he/she walks out of it, they will remember why & how they fell and got hurt. The next time something similar happens, they know not to make the same mistake or be careless again. Though we have no idea what is gonna be happening next in our life but we can always take precaution or be always ready of what's coming.

Somethings in life we might not have control over it, neither do we have any say in it but yet we are involved. In such situations, we can only pray for the best yet expect the worst so as not to get your hopes up. This can be a very emotionally painful process. There might be a lot of ups and downs, a lot of decision that you have to watch others make and yet you could not do anything knowing that you would also be affected. The decision made by others can either tear your world apart or let you see a brighter world. But all this will only be known only after the decision has been made or the cloudy days have cleared. Not sure if the cloudy days have cleared? Close your eyes and think about how you feel. Is it less painful now? Do you see the sun rays through the dark clouds? What have you been holding on to all this time? Is it now nearer or further away?

Time and time again, I always forget the most important lesson that I've been through umpteen times. Being selfless might not necessary be a good thing. Once in awhile, people have to think about themselves. What do you want? Are you happy in this state? Is this what you wanted? Is there anything that can be done?

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Key, into you

Once in awhile, we dream of waking up to the person we love lying right beside us. That very morning would be the best morning we ever get in awhile. Waking up to something like that, we know that nothing else in the world matter. Opening your eyes and seeing the person you love still asleep beside you. Observing the way they sleep. Looking at how innocent they look when they are sleeping. Listening to their breathing at their most peaceful time of the day. It's feel like you on a sweet scented field and all that matters is that person lying next to you although they are still asleep. 

Though you're not speaking to one another as he/she is still asleep but yet it's the warmest you will feel with he/she just by your side. You wake up knowing that everything will be fine as you have all you need just by your side. It's like though you woke up with the sunshine in your hands. It brightens up the rest of your day. You'll smile without knowing that you're doing so.

Everyone has little weaknesses and this happen to be one of mine. All I need was to know that he's fine and I will be too. I just needed to know he's happy and I would be glad. I just need to know that he's alright and I would be able to set my mind at ease.

Life is just so funny at time. Everyone wants to lead life their way but someone you unknowingly handed the key into yourself to someone else. This someone would then be the reason of your emotions. No matter how big or small the matter is that happens on this person, you know it's gonna be affecting you thought the actual matter might not even affect you. When we hand over this key to the special one, we might not even know that we have done so. Yet, we slowly allow them to control our emotion. 

How shall we define strong? How shall we define weak? 
Who shall hold the key to you? 
Or should there even be someone to hold the key into you?
 
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